BUSINESS OF PRACTICE: MANAGING ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE


pivoting to a new subject. Commonly, those who are unnerved by conflict may simply shut down and withdraw. At work, these employees are generally seen as


“nice” and have a reputation for never causing con- flict.1 As a partner or an associate, this can look


like going silent and enduring uncomfortable situa- tions instead of expressing issues openly until enough pressure has built up that they explode. Explosions are rarely effective conversations. In addition, some conflict avoidant people talk inces- santly about their issues with others but never with the person with whom they have an issue. This triangulation is unhealthy and lowers morale in the workplace. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a pyramid. After


the basic needs of food, water, and shelter are met, safety and security are next in importance. Follow- ing these are love, acceptance, and belonging.2 Human behavior is shaped by seeking to fill these needs. When acceptance and belonging are missing, loneliness, depression, and anxiety often follow. It makes sense that people who have experienced lack of acceptance of their ideas or feelings will try to avoid feeling this way again. It challenges their core need of feeling valued, safe, and secure. People want to belong, and fear being ostracized. This leads to fear of conflict. When people who are conflict-avoidant encounter a


pattern repeats in almost all situations in disagree- ments with many different people. It is important to recognize that the cause of the escalation of the inter- action is not the actual issue that prompted the con- versation but is the person’shigh-conflict personality and howthey approach problem-solving. Typically, someone who has a high-conflict person-


ality will exhibit a pattern of blaming others, zero- sum-game thinking, and extreme emotional out- bursts.4 The intensity of the blaming behavior is often unreasonable for the type of disagreement and may be particularly harsh when directed at those in authority or those who are close to them. It stems from the heightened degree of threat that they feel. Because they feel as though they might not survive if they don’t prevail, they focus on attacking and blam- ing someone else, often in extreme ways. In contrast to their blame of others, they usually see no fault in themselves and see themselves as free of all responsi- bility for the problem.Whatever early experience they have had that has shaped them presents as fight rather than flight.5 Because those with this personality trait tend to


react rather than taking time to analyze the situa- tion, hear different points of view, and consider sev-


difficult situation with others, they have a reaction in their limbic system, preventing them from think- ing clearly. They simply want to flee, as their heart beats faster and blood surges to their muscles to help them run faster to survive. Sometimes people actually leave the physical location as fast as they can. When a practice owner has this tendency, their employees are typically frustrated that they cannot be heard.When employees have this trait, they typi- cally store up resentment because they are afraid to tell their truth and either poison the well with trian- gulation or find another job. Being comfortable with conflict management is


essential for a healthy business. According to Stuart Hearn, “It can take time to change company culture, but it’s worth it in the long run. Help your employees reframe conflict as something constructive. We don’t want conflict to be aggressive or unnecessarily con- frontational, but debate and disagreement can be use- ful and beneficial for business. It can help if you demonstrate to your employees thatmanagement val- ues variance of opinion. Employees should feel on solid ground and be secure in the knowledge that if they stand up against an idea or process, they won’t have toworry about their job.”3


High-Conflict Personality


Unfortunately, there are some individuals who make effective communication very difficult due to possess- ing a high-conflict personality trait. Peoplewho exhibit high-conflict behavior have a pattern that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This


eral possible solutions rationally; compromise and flexibility seem impossible to them. Due to the high threat that they feel by not being in total control of the outcome, they often predict extreme outcomes if others do not handle things the way that they want and react in extreme ways, even quitting a job or ending a relationship suddenly. This heightened threat response also explains their often very emo- tional outbursts that can include intense fear, anger, yelling, or disrespect that can be quite surprising. Afterward, they may have regret but also may defend their actions as totally appropriate.5 Because of these individuals, not all efforts at effective com- munication will be successful.


High Self-Awareness


Those with healthy responses to conflict generally have high self-awareness and can comfortably speak to others with whom they disagree. They recognize the importance of considering the other party’scon- cerns, understand that their perception is not the absolute truth, and are able to empathize with those who strugglemorewith communication (Fig. 1). Mindfulness has been shown to help effective com-


munication. It is a specific state of attention which involves a constant focus on what is happening at the present time in a way that is neither judgmental nor evaluative. Components of mindfulness include observing, describing, acting with awareness, non- judging, and non-reactivity. In a study of mindful- ness, relationship quality, and conflict resolution strategies used by partners in close relationships, the researchers found that acting with awareness, dialogue, and avoiding conflict escalation strategy were predictors of relationship quality.6 These


AAEP PROCEEDINGS / Vol. 68 / 2022 125


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